College of Love Vademecum

Are you still not sure if you can define your relationship in the College as a “couple”?

You can definitely assume that you are part of the College of Love if:

  • Maybe you failed your exams, but for sure, you did not fail the most important one. After months of accurate analysis, comparative researches, detailed statistics, secret lists, you succeeded in the most relevant challenge… You are the first one on the list of your boy/girlfriend (or maybe your rivals just gave him/her a pullback).
  • When you leave your room in the morning and your neighbours look at you in a suspicious way and then you find out they are secretly signing a petition to make you change residence.
  • When you are studying in the library, you always find an excellent viewpoint to check him/her out every 3 pages (or maybe every page)
  • When you sleep at his/her place and you have to wake up at least 30 minutes before the other students of the residence if you don’t want to bump into all of them having breakfast in the common room.
  • When you want to meet your boy/girlfriend after a bar night but you don’t want to be too obvious, so you contact the “Intelligence Service” to organise your escape-plan:

“ So I leave now and you leave 5 minutes after me”

“ No, I leave before you”

“ But we are going to my place…”

“ I’m still not sure 5 minutes is enough”

  • When the times you are trying to have good sex while you are drunk happen more often than the times you are actually having good sex
  • When, during lunch, you pretend to be choosing the best tomatoes in the salad bar but in reality you are checking
  • Where he/she is
  • Who he/she is having lunch with
  • If he/she is looking at you
  • If he/she is bringing water to another girl/boy
  • When suddenly learning a new language is more important than studying for your exams
  • When after 2 months spent trying to avoid it, you just have to accept that your boy/girlfriend needs a toothbrush in your bathroom
  • When all the students in the College know that you are in a couple but you still don’t think you are.

D.

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